65 Maple Ave

Moving Day

2006-12-06T09:40:00.000-05:00

For any new posts please go to my new blog at www.65mapleave.wordpress.com and remember to change your links to link to the new site.

Thanks!!

This is exactly what's wrong with America

2006-12-03T21:32:00.000-05:00

I am watching the Big in '06 Awards. That's the first problem, that this awards show even exists and that there's nothing else on to watch. Who the hell cares who had a good year in 2006? They gave an honor to Brittany Spears for being a "Big Momma" and having two kids in 17 months. I had a huge year in 2006 and I am certainly not the proud owner of any new trophies.

They give this one award for the biggest comeback. It was presented by Joey Lawrence and Mario Lopez who I guess are considered to have had comebacks because they lost to Emmett Smith on "Dancing with the Stars". The nominees were The New Orleans Saints, Rosie O'Donnell, Al Gore, Howie Mandell, and David Hasselhoff. If I had to pick from this montley crew I would go with the Saints. Their big comeback in the Superdome was a huge step for the city of New Orleans to recover from the hurricane. But, David Hasselhoff won the award. Who voted for these things? What the hell? I didn't know that appearing in an Adam Sandler movie (Click), being a judge in a reality show no one has ever seen (I don't know what it's called), and having this video on You Tube was considered a comeback. It pretty much fills me with a rage previously unknown to man.

I guess people voted for him because they know not to Hassle the Hoff. But seriously, what is wrong with people????

Two Weeks Later

2006-12-01T12:05:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. Things have been a little nuts. First I was home in NY for the week of Thanksgiving. It was very nice to go home and chill out for a while. Then, upon my return to DC I had to undergo some medical tests for my mysterious side pain that required anesthesia. Let me tell you, those were some crazy drugs.

So, this weekend brings about December and I am trying to get into Christmas mode. I am working on the annual Christmas letter that Angel the Pig and I write and I am planning on decorating the apartment for the holiday. It just depends if I can manage to get out of bed amid the cold front that is supposed to blow through tonight.

I am attempting to switch my blog to another site because blogger has been kind of a pain in the ass lately. When the formal change takes place I will let you all know.

Vacation

2006-11-19T12:32:00.000-05:00

Today is Sunday 11/19. I have spent my entire weekend at work. I know I have been very vague about my job but I will say I work in athletics. Anyway, we hosted a women's basketball tournament this weekend and I offered to help out and work at all the games.

Here is my top five reasons why I did not have all that much fun...

1. I got stuck doing the laundry for all the other teams. It wasn't that it was all that time consuming, or even that I had to run up and down three flights of stairs a million times. It's that basketball players are really sweaty and their uniforms are gross and I had to touch and smell them.

2. I had to go crazy and pick up food for all the workers. This wouldn't have been a big deal except that on Saturday the people at Safeway did not have my order. So, I spent over an hour in Safeway trying to come up with something for 15 people to eat for lunch and dinner.

3. Twelve basketball games is a lot to sit through when you have to sit on a hard bench.

4. Our team didn't even make it to the championship.

5. I had to be here at 8:30 this morning with breakfast for everyone.

So, after all that you might be wondering why I offered to work this weekend in the first place. Well, I don't get over time, I get comp time so I am taking Monday and Tuesday off. I already get Wed. - Fri. off so this equals a whole week off for Thanksgiving.

Brilliant!!

So I leave tomorrow for NY so I can celebrate T-day with my fam and the giant TV. It is sure to be very delicious as my mom certainly knows how to cook a good turkey. So, if I can make it through the next two basketball games, I will be free and clear.

Case of the Mondays

2006-11-14T10:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was one of the more ridiculous days I have had in a long time. It began when I left my building to go to work and saw that I had a flat tire. Awesome. After standing and staring at it for probably a whole minute I went back inside and called a cab. Despite having to wait almost 15 minutes for the taxi and then the driver taking the long way to get to work (and almost crashing at least seven times) I was only a few minutes late.

Work was work, nothing exciting really happened. Actually, the only exciting thing that happened was that Angel picked me up and drove me home. Let us all pause a moment and sing her praises because I don't think I would have made it on the metro. It was cold, kind of raining, and I am very sore from a weekend hiking trip I have yet to write about.

SO, Angel dropped me off and I decided to go to The Sports Pub to get take out. As I am leaving the pub one of the waiters there looked at me and said I probably didn't remember him but when I was originally looking for an apartment I looked at his place. The thing is I did remember him. His name is Lamont and he is one of the nicest guys ever. I didn't rent in his townhouse because it was too expensive but it was a nice place and his roommate was a nice guy too. Turns out Lamont quit his fancy advertising job, moved out of the town house, lives a few blocks away from me, and waits tables at The Sports Pub. Awesome. I go there all the time so hopefully we will be friends. What are the chances of that?

I ate dinner and got Justin (my roommate) to help me change my tire. However, when I had the tires originally put on they used an air compressor and we couldn't get the bolts off. After a debate about whether or not I could just drive it to a gas station I finally called AAA. There was a two hour wait but since I was at my apartment that wasn't a big deal. I went back upstairs and less than a half an hour later I got a call from the AAA guy saying he was on my street but couldn't find my apartment. Once I figured out where he was I ran downstairs and across the parking lot but he was no where to be found. I called him again to find out he was in front of my building. I ran around the building, got him, and ran back across the parking lot to show him where my car was. Remember when I said I was sore from hiking? Well at this point I was pretty sure my legs were broken.

The two AAA guys looked at my tire and said it probably just needed air. However, when they put air in it the pressure didn't change. So, they asked if I wanted them to change it, just in case. I said yes. What I was thinking was more along the lines of, "I have to drive this car about 270 miles next week at speeds that will probably range from 70 to 80 miles an hour. If my tire explodes in the middle of the NJ turnpike I will hunt you down and murder you. So, unless you want to die next week, change the tire." They did and I would just like to say they had a lot of trouble with the bolts too.

So, with my spare tire on I got in the car and went to CVS, the one thing I really needed to do. As I was trying to remember what I needed to buy there this guy, who lives in my building, came up to me to say it was nice to see me. He's the Korean guy who lives a few doors down from me and he doesn't speak great English. Really, he needed me to help him find the isle with the lip balm. I did because he's a nice guy but then he wanted me to help him pick out the most oily one. At this point it was after nine, I was totally exhausted from running sprints around my building, and my legs were absolutely killing me. I told him I wasn't sure, wished him good luck on the lip balm search, got my stuff and went home.

I am still tired from all the excitement but I did learn a few things. First, I moved out of a small town into and another small town. I mean, northern Virginia isn't as small as Pelham by any means but I run into random people I know all the time. Second, if I ever have a roadside emergency and have to call AAA, I now know I might have to wait for a few hours but that they will call me with updates to let me know what's going on. And finally, it really pays to be super good at remembering names and faces because you never know who will end up working at the bar that you go to all the time.

Box Office? What??

2006-11-10T09:51:00.000-05:00

I worked in a theater box office for two years. For 20-30 (sometimes even more than 40) hours a week I got to answer the phone and say, "Box office, can I help you?" It got to the point where I would go home and answer the phone like that. A few times I even said, "Box office, can you help me?"

I left that job and (7 months later) started my new one. I've been at my new job almost five months making it almost one year since I stopped working at the theater. However, there are days when I have to think really hard before I answer the phone. I still almost say, "Box Office, can I help you?" I am beginning to wonder when this will go away.

Last night I was watching The Office and one of the characters said that she goes home and answers the phone, "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam." It made me feel good to see that on TV. I could really relate.

I hated that job with a passion and I was never so happy to leave anywhere. But it's like they had the last laugh. My brain has been programmed and I can't un-do it. Damn you Tony and Marilyn.

Damn You.

Oh the Hilarity

2006-11-08T15:28:00.000-05:00

As my sister's friend Stephanie pointed out, the control of the senate now depends on whether the racist or the sexist wins. Virginia apparently can't decide who they hate more and as of 3:22pm the day after election day the candidates are only separated by about 7,000 votes. There will probably be a recount too so the whole process will drag on and on.

Awesome. I don't know what's worse, living in a state that offers only racist and sexist candidates, or a state that elects Hillary Clinton.

By the way, my hatred of Hillary Clinton has little to do with politics and much more to do with fakery and treason.

I Totally Voted

2006-11-07T20:29:00.000-05:00

They give you these stickers for proof.

In Celebration of Election Day

2006-11-07T10:07:00.000-05:00

When I first moved to Virginia in the middle of April I had to go to the DMV and register my car. While I was doing that, along with getting a VA license, I decided to register to vote. All I had to do was fill out the little form and give it to the guy at the counter when my number was called. I was told I was all set and just needed to wait for the little registered voter card they'll send inthe mail.

Well, about a week later I got mail from the county telling me my voter registration had been denied. What the hell? Apparently, when the guy at the DMV typed in all of my information, he neglected to fill in the litle box that said I had never been convicted of a crime. What a jerk. So I had to fill out the form again and send it back in.

I am now legally registered and will hopefully have a chance to vote today. It depends on how long the lines are at my polling place. Earlier today I drove by a different polling place and the lines were all the way out the door and half way around the block. I was hoping that wouldn't be the case considering the two stellar candidates we have running for our senate seat. First there's this guy who seems to be a racist, and then there's this guy who seems to be a sexist. I really don't know how to choose.

This is Awesome!!

2006-11-03T13:06:00.000-05:00

Urban cowboy corrals bull in New Jersey

NEWARK, N.J. - It took an urban cowboy from the farms of South Africa to corral and lasso a 600-pound bull running loose Friday in the streets of New Jersey's largest city.

For Denton Infield, now an animal control officer, rounding up wayward cattle was second nature, even if the scene was not. Officers chased the bull for 10 hours through the streets of Newark — at one point, it took a turn toward downtown — before Infield final got close enough early Friday to corral it in the parking lot of a tool and die shop. There, the bull was tranquilized and eventually drifted off to sleep as the rush-hour traffic snarled and children snapped pictures with their cell phone cameras from passing school buses.

"Back home in South Africa, this is quite common," said Infield, a manager with the Associated Humane Societies' Newark office. "A lot of our cattle are transported by truck, and a lot of times the truck will turn over and there's cattle all over the place." But that's in rural South Africa. Newark is quite another story."It's a shock to see a bull running loose here," said resident George Romero. "Usually when you hear about Newark, it's a murder or some crime, but a bull running loose? Seeing is believing. I was like, 'Holy Cow!'" The bull was corralled less than a mile from Newark Liberty International Airport, about eight miles from New York City. It was the second time in as many years that wayward cattle were caught wandering around Newark. In May 2004, a steer escaped from a slaughterhouse and was eventually taken to a farm sanctuary. Infield said the bull caught Friday likely escaped from a slaughterhouse or fell off a truck bound for one. The 3-year-old mixed breed bull had an auction tag affixed to its back, indicating it wasn't far from The Final Roundup.

The bull was first spotted at 10 p.m. Thursday, running up and down an industrial street leading to Newark's heavily populated downtown. Police shooed onlookers away and blocked off streets to keep vehicles away from the animal, which managed to elude its pursuers until Friday morning.

"He was jumping over air conditioning units and over small fences," Infield said. "He was a little wild." Infield finally chased the bull into the empty parking lot, where he tossed a rope around its neck and nudged it close enough for a second animal control officer to jab it with a tranquilizer syringe.

"He's asleep now," Infield said, rubbing the animal's flank.Authorities called in a trailer from Popcorn Park Zoo in Lacey Township, a refuge for abused or unwanted animals that is operated by the Humane Societies. Infield said the bull would be taken there to live out the rest of its life.

Final Halloween Costume

2006-11-02T22:07:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween

2006-10-31T10:59:00.000-05:00

"I've learned there are three things you don't discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin."

Linus Van Pelt

The '06 Comeback

2006-10-30T11:20:00.000-05:00

Angel the Pig is back. Check out the blog at her new location. You can also click on the link on the right side of the page.

Decision

2006-10-27T14:18:00.000-04:00

While I briefly entertained Jackie's idea of the ballerina cowboy, I went with the Hula Girl.

Pictures to follow.

Halloween Poll

2006-10-26T09:53:00.000-04:00

On Saturday night I am going to a Halloween party. I am not going to know anyone at the party except the people I am going with (it's their friends who are hosting it). I need to come up with a costume and I've had some ideas but I need other opinions. Originally, I wanted to be Rainbow Bright. However, I don't think I have enough time to come up with a Rainbow Bright costume by Saturday. Then I thought I would be a hula girl. I figure the costume would be simple and not cost too much money. But, I'm going to be with a whole bunch of people I don't know and I'm not sure if I want to be that close to naked. My roommate said if I was that close to naked I would probably make more friends. He has a good point. I could also be an 80's girl but I figure that's kind of boring especially since 80's fashions are coming back with a vengeance.

Anyway, I am looking for opinions on those costume ideas or even other ideas of something that will be easy to put together and not cost too much money.

I promise to post pictures of the final decision.

My Dad's From New York

2006-10-20T09:44:00.000-04:00

My dad moved around a lot as a kid but spent his high school, college, seminary, and priest years in north-central Jersey. And for those readers who never knew, yes, my dad used to be a priest. Anyway, he moved to NY after leaving the priesthood but I never really considered my dad a true New Yorker. In comparison, my mom grew up in the Bronx and has lived in the NY area her whole life. She has the accent (especially when she gets mad) and the attitude that I associate with a true New Yorker.

Anyway, my dad is a really big Mets fan. I can only imagine how difficult this has been for him. Then Mets have sucked for a decent amount of time and he lives in a house full of Yankee fans. This year dad got to see his team make a really good run at the world series. In fact, the Mets got eliminated last night in the bottom of the ninth of game seven of the NLCS. It was a good series, and exciting game, and an unfortunate ending to the season. But at least they got as as far as they did and not a single one of their players flew his plane into the side of a Manhattan building. At least not yet.

I called my dad at 11:45 last night to offer my condolences. After discussing the game he talked about how the World Series is going to be a huge loss for the Fox network. I said,

"Why, because it's Detroit and St Louis?" and dad said,

"No one's gonna watch that."

With that one statement my dad became a true New Yorker. He proved that he understands that NY is the most important city in the country and that everyone cares about what happens there. At least that's what all New Yorkers think, myself included. That self centered disregard for the middle of the country is exactly the right attitude and the idea that The United States rotates around NYC is an important aspect of the New York personality.

So dad, if you're reading, (or mom if you're showing him my blog), I welcome you to the club.

The New Shakespeare

2006-10-18T12:58:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to announce to all my readers that I am well on the way to becoming a Pulitzer Prize winning writer and that you should all bow down at my feet and worship me.

On Tuesday nights I take a creative writing class giving by Arlington County's adult education program. It's a good class and I really like the teacher (who is a pretty widely published author)however I could really do without some of the people in the class. I mean, I'm sure they are all good people but they annoy the crap out of me most of the time. We all know these people, the ones that have to be teachers pet, that think everything they have to say is an important message from God and that interrupting a fellow classmate to spread the Word is perfectly acceptable and then they're not even good writers. Let's just say, it is painfully obvious who reads romance novels because they write like that and I can't stand it. But, I digress.

Last night our assignment was to overhear a portion of a conversation and then turn it into two pages of dialog. There was to be no description or extra information, it had to be all dialog, like a play. The token gay guy wrote four pages (which, by the way was two pages over the limit) of two girls talking in a McDonald's. It would have been much better had it been two gay guys, or maybe if it had been read by Jack McFarland (from Will and Grace). One girl just wrote a conversation she heard in line at the grocery store but she just copied it verbatim. Apparently she wasn't aware that it's a creative writing class and that simply writing something down as you hear it does not make you creative. There was only one other girl who had done the assignment and hers was pretty good.

Anyway, I was very unhappy with what I had written but I usually feel that way. I listened to a conversation my boss had with another co-worker about finding a one hundred dollar bill on the street. It was very simple and plain, I didn't let my characters ramble on, and I didn't try to make them sound like people they weren't. In the end she told me what I had done was very skillfully and well written. She said this in front of the class and then again when just the two of us were sitting alone. I really didn't know how to take the compliment. She liked the last thing I did too but didn't go into how skillful it was.

So now I am convinced I will soon cure famine with beautifully written prose and bring about world peace with my first novel. I hope you are all prepared with what I will soon put to paper because I am sure it will change your life.

News Article

2006-10-13T09:23:00.000-04:00

I read this article on-line this morning and thought it was interesting. I especially enjoyed the title of the piece and the comments given by the radical Christians...

Birds and bees may be gay: museum exhibition

The birds and the bees may be gay, according to the world's first museum exhibition about homosexuality among animals.

With documentation of gay or lesbian behavior among giraffes, penguins, parrots, beetles, whales and dozens of other creatures, the Oslo Natural History Museum concludes human homosexuality cannot be viewed as "unnatural."

"We may have opinions on a lot of things, but one thing is clear -- homosexuality is found throughout the animal kingdom, it is not against nature," an exhibit statement said.

Geir Soeli, the project leader of the exhibition entitled "Against Nature," told Reuters: "Homosexuality has been observed for more than 1,500 animal species, and is well documented for 500 of them."

The museum said the exhibition, opening on Thursday despite condemnation from some Christians, was the first in the world on the subject. Soeli said a Dutch zoo had once organised tours to view homosexual couples among the animals.

"The sexual urge is strong in all animals. ... It's a part of life, it's fun to have sex," Soeli said of the reasons for homosexuality or bisexuality among animals.

One exhibit shows two stuffed female swans on a nest -- birds sometimes raise young in homosexual couples, either after a female has forsaken a male mate or donated an egg to a pair of males.

One photograph shows two giant erect penises flailing above the water as two male right whales rub together. Another shows a male giraffe mounting another for sex, another describes homosexuality among beetles.

BURN IN HELL

One radical Christian said organizers of the exhibition -- partly funded by the Norwegian government -- should "burn in hell," Soeli said. Laws describing homosexuality as a "crime against nature" are still on the statutes in some countries.

Greek philosopher Aristotle noted apparent homosexual behavior among hyenas 2,300 years ago but evidence of animal homosexuality has often been ignored by researchers, perhaps because of distaste, lack of interest or fear or ridicule.

Bonobos, a type of chimpanzee, are among extremes in having sex with either males or females, apparently as part of social bonding. "Bonobos are bisexuals, all of them," Soeli said.

Still, it is unclear why homosexuality survives since it seems a genetic dead-end.

Among theories, males can sometimes win greater acceptance in a pack by having homosexual contact. That in turn can help their chances of later mating with females, he said. And a study of homosexual men in Italy suggested that their mothers and sisters had more offspring. "The same genes that give homosexuality in men could give higher fertility among women," he said.

Alex, I'll take Pop Culture Quotes for $1000

2006-10-10T09:51:00.000-04:00

How do you know when you've officially become a pop culture icon?

When you are a clue on Jeopardy.

Congratulations to my favorite fake news guy, Stephen Colbert, on his official pop-culture icon status.

Check this out.

The End of the Dynasty

2006-10-08T14:17:00.000-04:00

If you're walking around the Bronx in the vicinity of 161st St and River Ave. you might want to watch your step. Heads are gonna role.

TGIF

2006-10-06T13:16:00.000-04:00

Oh man.

It's Friday. It's cold and raining. My boss is out today and I have nothing to do.

I would really like to go home and get in bed.

Tonight I will be home watching the Yankee game in my pajamas. They better win this series otherwise we are going to seriously re-evaluate our relationship.

Quote of the Day

2006-10-04T15:56:00.000-04:00

"I often wonder how it's possible for annoying people to have such high opinions of themselves. Like today, I had lunch with a very nice girl in my class who thinks she is going to be Katie Couric someday (in her expressed terms). I, however, feel that she might be limited in those pursuits purely by the fact that she is incapable of using her inside voice in daily conversation"

Angel the Pig

One reason I'm sad I left NY

2006-10-03T09:28:00.000-04:00

Game one in the Bronx tonight at 8. This is my favorite time of year. The MLB playoffs are so fun to watch, especially if the Yankees can come through with a win. It's a nice way to end the season before I go into a deep, deep depression over the fact that baseball won't be on again until April.

LET'S GO YANKEES

Best Co-worker Ever

2006-09-30T14:38:00.000-04:00

There is this woman I work with, Gayle, who was hired shortly after I was. I've helped her out with a lot of stuff since she's relatively new and trying to get everything organized. The other day she gave me this thank you gift.

As Gayle said, "It's the only XXL I wear."

The Superficial

2006-09-25T16:35:00.000-04:00

Recently I came across a website that is more sarcastic than any other I have ever seen and I love it. The Superficial is a celebrity gossip site I sometimes check when I am bored at work. It's mindless, pointless, crap and that's why I like it. Today I checked and they had a great blurb about Kevin Federline. For those of you who read the Ave. you have heard me rant about Kevin Federline before. I just don't get why this guy was ever given any time to open his mouth let alone put out an album. Anyway, this is what The Superficial had to say about him...

"Perhaps in a moment of clarity, Kevin Federline has dropped PopoZao from his debut CD Playing With Fire and reportedly replaced it with a duet with Britney Spears called Crazy. Additionally, a rapper who had claimed to write most of the lyrics for Federline told the New York Daily News: "I didn't have nothing to do with that, dog."

I wonder why everybody is suddenly distancing themselves from what I believe is the greatest song ever written in the history of sound. Did Leonardo DaVinci pretend he didn't paint the Mona Lisa? Was Michelangelo ashamed of the Sistine Chapel? Perhaps we've forgotten just how powerful and moving Federline's tribute to Brazilian ass is. And if that's the case, my friends, then the terrorists have truly won"

Yes, the terrorists have truly won.

Results

2006-09-25T16:08:00.000-04:00

Ok fine, I will keep it going. I will also try to blog more often. That will be my September 25th resolution. But right now I am at work and have stuff to do.

Until we meet again.

Poll

2006-09-22T09:47:00.000-04:00

Ok. I realize I haven't been blogging regularly for quite some time. Things have been busy at work and when I am at home the last thing I feel like doing is sitting in front of a computer. So, I am taking a poll to see if my readership still exists. If there is anyone out there who still enjoys my blog please let me know. If no one responds I might have to close the door on 65 Maple Ave.

2006-09-11T10:46:00.000-04:00

Tropical Storm Ernesto

2006-09-10T16:16:00.000-04:00

These are the trees I was talking about a few posts ago. They came down over labor day weekend.

Holy Crap

2006-09-08T16:33:00.000-04:00

Cops: Pelham sex-abuse suspect may have intentionally crashed SUV
By JONATHAN BANDLER

(Original publication: September 8, 2006)
A child sex-abuse suspect from Pelham who was driving with a missing 14-year-old Stamford, Conn., boy may have intentionally caused the crash in South Carolina that hospitalized the teenager and killed the convict, police said.
Adam Mauro, 27, a former teacher's aid convicted of having child pornography, was speeding north into southbound traffic on Interstate 95 yesterday near Walterboro, S.C., without swerving to avoid oncoming vehicles, said police, who were chasing him at the time.
Mauro drove into a tractor-trailer and died.
"We believe this was intentional," Colleton County Sheriff's Deputy Ted Stanfield told the Associated Press.
The boy was ejected, and was recovering in stable condition in a hospital, police said.
It was unclear why police were chasing Mauro, although Stamford police had issued an alert for Mauro and the car.
The Lexus sport utility vehicle, reported stolen from Mauro's father's house this week, was going about 70 mph when it crashed, authorities said.
Police in Stamford said Mauro was a friend of the boy's father and drove off with him Wednesday.
Police were not calling the case a kidnapping, said Capt. Richard Conklin, of the Stamford detective bureau. He said they were investigating where Mauro met the boy and how he coaxed him into the car.
Authorities did not release the boy's name.
Mauro was awaiting trial on misdemeanor child endangerment charges in Westchester.
Mauro was a teacher's aide in the Ardsley school district when he was first arrested in August 2000. Authorities had seized his computer and found a digital movie of two adolescents engaged in sexual activity.
He was sentenced to probation in that case but was arrested again in 2003 after probation officers found he had visited a sex chat room on the Internet. Over the next several months, he was arrested four more times in Pelham. He was accused of giving a teenage boy a sexually explicit film at a video store where he worked and then of groping him and another teenager at the same store. He was also accused of driving past one of the boys' homes in violation of an order of protection.
Those charges were pending in Mount Vernon City Court, and the mother of one of the boys said this morning that authorities never did enough to keep Mauro away from potential victims.
"It's tragic that he died that way, but if they had done something to stop him he never would have been in that situation," said Angelina Lanzetta of Pelham. "Everything that happened here led to him going off with that boy... I always felt he was going to hurt another child."
A former lawyer of Mauro's, Jean Robert Auguste, said his client was a "very bright, young man" who had been dealing with personal demons and was in need of help. But he also said there seemed to have been a crusade against Mauro by certain people and that the charges against him were only allegations because they were never proven.
"I saw television pictures of how he died. Anytime somebody dies like that it's terrible," he said. "If he tried to do it that would be an awful way to go, but it would also mean he tried to kill that boy who was with him."

I went to high school with this guy. Actually I went from elementary school through high school with this guy. He lived around the corner from me.

What a week

2006-09-06T12:58:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posting. Lately I have been having trouble logging on to blogger. The website seems to have a lot of problems and they are increasingly frustrating.

It's been an exciting week. I went home over the weekend and had the privilege of flying out of DC in the midst of Tropical Whatever Earnesto. Then Earnesto struck the NY area on Saturday and took down several very large, very old trees in my area which bought down power lines and snapped telephone poles in half (pictures to follow).

Then yesterday I helped out a co-worker and she bought me a giant bag of M&M's as a thank you. AND, later that night I went to Krispy Kreme with my roommate and we got two free hot glazed doughnuts.

Really, how can life get any more exciting.

Perhaps only by going to happy hour before the softball game.

Flash Back

2006-08-29T13:34:00.000-04:00

Is anyone else horrified at the return of the ankle boots?

Letter #1

2006-08-28T10:33:00.000-04:00

August 28, 2006

Dear Mr. Colbert,

I am writing this letter to show my support for you and your show after the disastrous night The Colbert Report had at the 2006 Emmy Awards. I am outraged at the ignorance of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. They made a very obvious and very big mistake by not honoring your program. Even Jon Stewart acknowledged said mistake in his acceptance speech when the Daily Show took home the Emmy for Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series and again when he accepted for Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Series. What were they thinking?

I think the biggest blow came when Barry Manilow beat you out for outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety, Music, or Comedy Series. They gave the award to a guy who does the same show every night. He simply taped it and put it on TV. I don’t see how that is considered Emmy worthy when you slave away each night in front of America to bring us the news. It was an egregious oversight and I was so happy when you came out to present and voiced your disappointment. And by the way, I agree with you that all of Hollywood is filled with Godless sodomites.

I have watched your show since it first debuted on the air. I completely agree with all of your journalism philosophies. I never read books. They only clog my gut and make it hard for me to feel the news from you. Since I started watching The Report I have participated in five book burnings and three rallies in support of removing all books from our local school districts. Hopefully we will be able to convince people that books only hinder our ability to become informed, intelligent individuals.

Your show is my first and only stop for news. I only trust what you tell me to feel. I think it’s because you wear glasses. Only smart, informed people wear glasses so you must be right all the time. Thanks to The Report I have bear-proofed my house, yard and car (mostly with large steal beams), narrowed my groups of friends by making several people dead to me, and have learned a great deal about my congressional district.

That being said I would like to conclude this letter by making you an offer. I currently reside in the DC area. (I do not actually live in the District of Columbia because I could not bear to be outside of the United States.) I know you are busy with the show and I would like to volunteer my time to be your DC correspondent. I hope you will consider this when you return from your vacation. I love your show and will continue to watch.

Sincerely,
Stephanie

P.S. I wear glasses too.

We're Country!!

2006-08-22T15:59:00.000-04:00

On Sunday night the Teen Choice Awards aired on Fox. Now, I HATE award shows of all kinds. But, I especially hate awards show that have stupid categories, annoying hosts, and screaming fans. The Teen Choice awards had all three of those and more to make it the most ridiculous thing I have seen in a long time.

Normally I would not have even thought about turning on the TCA's but FOX had been advertising them for weeks with the promise of a live performance from Kevin Federline. In the wake of all the public retardedness of Brittany Spears, I was a little curious to get to see Mr. Brittany Spears perform. A few days before the show aired I read an interview with K-Fed about how he had all these tricks up his sleeve and how he was going for the "Oh my God factor."

Let us all take a moment here to bask in his suckiness.

In a performance reminiscent of Vanilla Ice (only worse), K-Fed gets on stage and laughingly prowls around, grabbing his crotch and his ice, and screaming lyrical gems such as,

"Don't hate because I'm a superstar!

And I'm married to a superstar!

Nothing' come between us no matter who you are."

His rhyming skills were stunning, during the first verse he is missing the beat, and he didn't even dance. He could of at least taken some advice from his wife and spiced up his act a little bit with a giant snake wrapped around his shoulders or by ripping off his clothes or even by kissing another guy.

It was a highly anticipated performance that flopped harder than a 300 pound man in a speedo. I hope this really is the beginning of the end for the Spears family. I'm sick of hearing about them, sick of seeing them, and sick of the fact that whenever I see them I can't look away.

So here's to hoping he fades into the abyss with other ridiculous music acts of the past. The world will be a better place for it.

This one goes out to my ladies from the box office

2006-08-21T10:17:00.000-04:00

Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays'?

Lawrence: No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.

Let us all bow our heads...

2006-08-16T10:20:00.000-04:00

...in a moment of silence.

Today is the 29th anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley. If you have some time you should check the schedule of events for Elvis Week 2006. It's just a small taste of what actually goes on in Memphis every year at this time.

Here's to Good Sportsmanship

2006-08-09T12:44:00.000-04:00

As most of you know I participated in a playground kickball league that wrapped up it's season last night. My team finished with a 6-3 record and we had a lot of fun doing it. We were nice to the opposing teams, we cheered them when they made a good play, and in one case, Brian made some new friends. I am a very competitive person by nature. I have been involved in competitive sports since I was 7 and I always want to win. But in the end, even I can say it's just kickball and it should be fun.

Last night was the semi-final and final game. We played a team that had beat up on us pretty badly earlier in the season. They are uber-competitive and most of them are just not very nice. One of my teammates, Karen, is about 5'2" tall (if that). At one point in the game she was playing catcher. She was standing in front of home plate waiting for the ball to try and tag the guy running home. This guy is about 6'0" tall and running at full speed (sidenote, he's a big jerk and we didn't like him before this all went down). He took Karen out as hard as he could. I should say she didn't have the ball and even though the ball had been thrown in her direction, there was no chance at a play and they were winning by a lot. He could have easily sidestepped her and scored. But the big, macho, man had to run over her, get up and say "You shouldn't have blocked the plate."

So the stupid blue team beat us 25-7 and then went on to win the final game 4-1. As my teammate Dawn said, we are much better people than them. To us it's just kickball and it's fun. We have lives. We can't spend that much time caring about whether we win the kickball championship because we have shit to do. And the fact that we will get up the next day and not even care about the fact that we did not win it what's important. I completely agree with her. So here's to Dawn and to my Wonderland Kickball team.

Be an Expert on Anything

2006-08-07T14:35:00.000-04:00

Angel sent this to me. It comes from an article in Wired magazine in which Stephen Colbert gives advice on how to be an expert on anything. I love Stephen Colbert and I think this is sound advice. I know I plan on using it as often as possible.

PICK A FIELD THAT CAN'T BE VERIFIED. Try something like string theory or God’s will: “I speak to God. I’m sorry that you can’t also.” Security experts are in this category: They have security clearances, we don’t. We can’t question the expertise of the NSA because we are not in the NSA.

CHOOSE A SUBJECT THAT'S ACTUALLY SECRET. Dan Brown invented a secret subject for The Da Vinci Code, so now he is forever an expert on this secret subject that no one can challenge. Anybody who attacks the secret subject is, by definition, part of the cabal.

GET YOUR OWN ENTRY IN AN ENCYCLOPEDIA. In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes. Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter.

USE THE WORD ZEITGEIST AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. Ideally, you want to find words that sound familiar but people don’t really know their definitions: zeitgeist, bildungsroman, doppelgänger – better yet, anything Latin. But avoid paradigm. It’s so 1994. If you say the word paradigm, everybody knows you’re a poser.

BE SURE TO USE LOTS OF ABBREVIATIONS AND ACRONYMS. Someone who says the words operations security may be educated, but the person who uses the military abbreviation Opsec is clearly an expert. If I use the term Gitmo, that means I’ve actually been there. If you say, “We’re going to Defcon 1,” it means you probably have the launch codes. Real experts don’t have time for extra syllables.

SPEAK FROM THE BALLS, NOT FROM THE DIAPHRAGM. In the expert game, you’ve got to have sack. That means speaking with confidence. In America, you’ve got to steer clear of nuance and ambivalence – and don’t even contemplate doubt.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO MAKE THINGS UP. Never fear being exposed as a fraud. Experts make things up all the time. They’re qualified to.

DON'T LIMIT YOURSELF TO CURRENT KNOWLEDGE. If you worry too much about being up-to-date, you miss out on vast territories of obsolete knowledge just waiting to be reclaimed. Think of leech-craft and all the lonely experts in the use of the little creatures, which are now experiencing a renaissance in health care.

GET AN HONORARY PHD. They work wonders. I have a doctorate in fine arts from Knox College in Illinois. All I did was give a speech, and now everybody has to call me Dr. Colbert.

MAKE A HABIT OF NAME-DROPPING. Say things like “I was talking to John Hockenberry yesterday for my story in Wired. Have you seen my cover?” I plan to use this issue of Wired to assert that I now know everything about wires.

BE FAMOUS. IT HELPS.

Somebody get a bucket, I'm about to truth

2006-08-04T10:43:00.000-04:00

Recently I have not been able to stay awake to watch my favorite TV show, The Colbert Report. Frequent readers of this blog know how much I love him and how I plan to start a letter writing campaign to Stephen suggesting I become his DC correspondent. But I digress...

The other day I just happen to catch a repeat of the Report on at an earlier time. In this episode he interviewed the congress woman from DC as part of his 435 part series, Better Know a District, where plans on interviewing all the US congressmen. If you go here you can watch part 1 of the interview. And here you can see part 2. It is some of the finest journalism I have ever seen.

And if those two videos don't convince you of his genius please watch this clip about Floyd Landis

If for some reason the videos don't load, look all the way to the right of the window, they should all be there on my playlist. Just click on them. If that doesn't work you'll have to search through the videos to find them. I know there are dedicated Colbert fans reading this blog that will put forth the work neessary to see these clips.

Check this out

2006-08-02T15:46:00.000-04:00

Angel's boyfriend Russell showed me this. It's pretty much the most amazing video I have ever seen. Please watch it in it's entirety. I would hate for anyone to miss any single part.

It won't be long now

2006-08-01T13:30:00.000-04:00

WHY, ON ALL DAYS, DOES MY BOSS KEEP SENDING ME ON ERRANDS THAT FORCE ME TO GO OUTSIDE?!?!?!

It's So Hot

2006-08-01T11:13:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. Due to the extreme heat my fingertips melted and I was forced to undergo go extensive surgery to restore them. It was painful but I pulled through. The doctors even said I might still be able to get finger printed some day. I can only hope the recovery goes so well.

Today the temperature is expected to reach 100 with a heat index of 110. I can't wait for my kickball game tonight. Playing sports (or even being outside) in this heat is a great way to drop a few pounds. After about 5 minutes you start sweating profusely and all that annoying water retention just goes away.

I am currently sitting at my desk taking swigs from my new water bottle (1.1 liters) in preparation for tonight. My main goal is to kick the crap out of the kickball and to not shrivel up and melt again. I don't think I could go through the reconstructive surgery another time.

Party Pictures

2006-07-26T22:10:00.000-04:00

Dad Comes home to the surprise

My cousin Jim, me, Clair, Bill, my cousins Caitlin, Meg, and Tammy.

Dad opening some presents.

Clair and Tammy (who is just holding that glass of water for a friend)

Gloria and Clair playing beer pong at the end of the night.

That's all for now. I just want to say thanks (again) to Jim and Tammy for coming to NY. And that I loved Jimmy's answers to my survey. Plastic cups and ping pong balls would keep me busy on the desert island.

If anyone has pictures from the party they could e-mail to me I would love that.

Happy Birthday to Me (and Dad)

2006-07-24T10:24:00.000-04:00

Most of my friends turned 25 before I did. In fact, six months ago I posted about the fact that they told me 25 was a good year and that good things happen. However, six months ago I was still sitting in Pelham completely miserable and I was a little mad at them for getting my hopes up.

Since that post I have moved out of my parent's house (thanks goodness) to a pretty nice apartment, landed a real job doing something I actually like, joined a kickball team, joined a softball team, and made some new friends. So I guess 25 was a big year after all.

Yesterday I turned 26. My friend Christine told me she read some article about how 26 is now considered to be the official age of adulthood. I think that's a load of crap.

To celebrate I went home to NY and threw a big surprise party for my dad who turned 70. We share a birthday. It was great and I will post pictures later tonight or tomorrow. And if I have any readers out there who attended said party and took pictures I would love it if you sent them to me.

Comments about my comments

2006-07-20T09:34:00.000-04:00

In a late submission to my survey my anonymous poster commented that my worst habit is,

"leaving incomplete, content-free updates on the web"

I would like to take a moment to comment on that. I have decided not to post very detailed info on my blog about my new job. I will say that I work at a University and that, so far, I like it. But that's it.

The first reason for this is that we are currently working on putting together a policy for the students about their use of the internet. Basically we want them to know that they are responsible for anything they decide to post on the web. If they are involved in illegal or inappropriate activities, and they post pictures of said activities on their My Space page, and we find out, there will be consequences. So, I figure in order to protect myself I will not discuss where I work or what I do when I am there so I can continue posting about that time I drank a lot and it was really fun.

The second reason is that I have come across a few stories about people who got fired because they posted blogs about their work. Dooce.com is the most prominent example of that. Actually, the author of that blog coined the term dooced to mean getting fired from your job because of the content of your personal website. And yesterday I read an article on CNN.com about some British girl who got dooced. After seven months of unemployment I really don't need that. So I will simply keep the subject matter of my blog to my personal life and leave the professional stuff at my desk.

And, my anonymous poster, you were pretty accurate with your answers to the survey. However, if I had met you at Graceland our entire relationship would be Elvis based and sadly that is not the case. And if I had was to bring an Elvis movie to the desert island I would probably go with King Creole. It was one of his earlier ones and not such a bad movie. The later movies are all so horrible and while I've never seen Blue Hawaii, I'm guessing it would probably be a waste of time.

Wonderland Kickball

2006-07-19T09:08:00.000-04:00

Last night was the last regular season game for my kickball team. We were playing one of the weaker teams in the league. However, we only had seven people show up and only six of us who were able to play offense. So, for those of you who haven't experienced it yet, it was about 98 degrees yesterday but with the humidity it felt like 105. Not only we were all going nuts on defense and running a lot, we each got up to kick every inning if not more than once an inning because there were only 6 of us.

In the end it was a good game and it was really fun because the score was close the whole time. We ended in a 9-9 tie. I can't really speak for my teammates but I was glad the ref called the game. I could not have played one more inning. It was so hot out, my clothes were soaked with sweat, my head kind of hurt, and my muscles felt like jello.

I was very proud of my team. For only having 6 players we did really well.

Next week the playoffs start. I hope the heat wave ends before then.

New Job Report

2006-07-17T09:55:00.000-04:00

At the request of my cousin this is the (almost) one month report on the new job.

So far so good.

Survey Results

2006-07-12T10:10:00.000-04:00

Ok, so since there were only two people that answered the survey questions, and Clair did not do the whole thing, I guess this shout out goes to Jackie. Holla!! I loved your guess at my middle name. I laughed pretty hard.

I would like to comment on one thing. Both Clair and Jackie had a something to say about my love of beer and drinking beer. I just want to set the record straight. Yes, I love beer. And yes I enjoy the occasional drink. But all good things come in moderation and that's how I enjoy my beer. It just so happens that after I have a few drinks (in moderation) I like to call people and sometimes even post on my blog. It seems that Mr. Sam Adams is the perfect motivation to keep in touch with my friends and family. And I find nothing wrong with that.

I come from an Irish family, with a dad who works for a package company, a cousin who carries wine in her purse, and a sister who enjoys Irish car bombs. So in a way, a love of alcoholic beverages is in my heritage. There is nothing I can do about it so I might as well accept it and move on to the next bar.

And Jackie, beer is not a food although I have been thinking about starting a letter writing campaign to have it added to the food pyramid.

How Well Do You Know Me?

2006-07-10T11:19:00.000-04:00

I stole this from Jackie. Please don't cheat by reading the comments before you post.

This is a fun survey. You post your replies as a comment and we'll see who wins. The winner gets a blog shout-out in my next posting. Feel free to invent any answers to questions that might challenge you!

My first name:
Who is the love of my life?
Where did we meet?
Take a stab at my middle name:
How long have you known me?
When is the last time that we saw each other?
Do I smoke?
Do I drink?
When is my birthday?
What was your first impression of upon meeting me?
Do I have any siblings?
What's one of my favorite things to do?
Am I funny?
What is the best feature about me?
Am I shy or outgoing?
What is a memory we have once had?
Have you ever hugged me?
What is my favorite food?
Have you ever had a crush on me?
If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be?
What is my worst habit?
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring?

It's so high up

2006-07-07T10:54:00.000-04:00

Yesterday the power in my building went out. I had no idea. In the morning as I got ready for work everything was fine. I stepped out into the hall and saw that every other light was out and, after walking down the longest hallway ever, saw that the elevator was not working. It wasn't the worst thing in the world. I live on the 8th floor but am in good enough shape that eight flights down is no big deal.

After work I came home to find out that the power was still out. At this point, I had to walk up the stairs. Let me say that you have no idea how out of shape you really are until you have to walk up eight flights of stairs. Once I got to the top and back to my place I found out the building had a partial power outage which explains why my apartment had power but other people didn't.

Well, things were great until about 6:45 when everything was shut off (they were trying to fix it) and I was stuck in the apartment with nothing to do. So I decided to leave and go to the mall because I needed to go to Lenscrafters. Again, down the steps, no big deal. Up the steps, I almost died. However, when I got back from the mall the little convenience store in my building was selling all of it's ice cream for $1 because it was quickly melting.

The power came back on around 9 but went off again around 2 in the morning. It wasn't a big deal because we had been told that would happen and when I woke up to get ready for work it was back on. So, hopefully when I get home tonight I will not have to walk up the stairs to my apartment. I don't know if I would make it. Maybe if they put some more $1 ice cream at the top of the stairs I would have motivation to get to the top.

Bad Day

2006-07-05T14:46:00.000-04:00

I hate days like this. I was kind of in a bad mood this morning. Actually I was kind of in a bad mood last night and I think it just carried over. Anyway, my back is killing me, the mysterious pain in my side is back and all I want to do is go to sleep.

I had to go to the chiropractor during lunch today. It was actually a nice relaxing break in the middle of the day but as I stopped to get lunch on the way out the people at the pizza place were really slow and I was late getting back. I didn't get in trouble, I am just annoyed that I was late. Also I got pizza grease on my new white shirt that I had never worn before today. Then I got stuck in the rain on my way back from the copy center and spent the better part of the hour sitting in my office totally wet. I have two hours left at work and I have done everything I needed to do and my boss, who sometimes lets me go early, isn't here. So I just have to site here and wait for the phone to ring.

I hate days like this. I just want to go home.

From CNN.Com

2006-06-30T11:25:00.000-04:00

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The king is getting big-time respect from the president and the prime minister.

Elvis, of course. As in Presley.

President Bush and Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi are going to Graceland.
A private tour through the late rock 'n' roll legend's Memphis mansion on Friday wraps two days of consultations between the leaders. The visit has spanned military pomp, the tinkling of crystal at a black-tie dinner and two hours of discussions on Iraq, North Korea, U.S. beef exports and other weighty matters in the Oval Office.

But their outing to the home of Koizumi's undisputed musical hero, with its oddity quotient and celebrity patina, was the most-anticipated portion. Swiveling hips, spangled jumpsuits and over-the-top decor aren't Bush's usual style. And this is a president who routinely skips even the most awe-inspiring destinations on his speed-travels -- such as India's Taj Mahal and China's Great Wall.

So it's a sign of his fondness for the Japanese leader that Bush is taking Koizumi to a tourist hotspot, and by plane, no less, five years to the day after they first met. Aides said the president decided a Graceland tour was the perfect way, along with a gift of a jukebox loaded with Elvis hits, to bid adieu to a leader who is departing office in September after being one of his most ardent defenders on the world stage.

Bush revealed his excitement about the day's travels as he drew the formal dinner he threw for Koizumi at the White House to a close at 10:10 p.m. Thursday night. "Off to Graceland," the president said.

Bush arrived ahead of Koizumi at Andrews Air Force Base in suburban Maryland and stood at the bottom of the steps to Air Force One awaiting his guest. When Koizumi's helicopter appeared, Bush waved, then greeted his guest and patted him on the back as they boarded the presidential jet.

The trip to an outside-the-Beltway locale reprises a signature feature of state visits earlier in Bush's presidency. In 2001, Bush took Mexican President Vicente Fox to Toledo, Ohio, where the two addressed Hispanic voters the day after their state visit at the White House.
The next year, then-Polish President Aleksander Kwasniewski also saw his state visit capped with an out-of-town journey. He accompanied Bush to a Polish cultural center in the Detroit suburbs for traditional fare and an audience with the area's large Polish-American -- and heavily Roman Catholic -- community.

The trips with Fox and Kwasniewski served Bush's domestic politics as well as global concerns. They were aimed at helping the president with key U.S. voting constituencies in battleground states even while the ride on Air Force One and close-up look at American life wowed his guests.
Bush has always favored a more casual brand of diplomacy, holding fewer lavish state dinners than his predecessors and looking for personal touches whenever he can.

For instance, Danish Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen, like Bush an avid bike rider, was treated to a two-wheel jaunt around the Camp David presidential retreat earlier this month.
Koizumi's treatment goes several steps further.

At Graceland, recently designated a National Historic Landmark, Bush and Koizumi will see the white-column, two-story colonial most visitors see. There are the shag carpets and ceramic monkeys of the Jungle Room, which Elvis famously furnished with a 30-minute shopping spree; the glossy black baby-grand piano near the living room's white, 15-foot sofa; hundreds of gold records, outfits and guitars in the home's museums; and the singer's grave out by the swimming pool. Also like others, they won't get a peek at the private upstairs quarters, including the bedroom and bath where Elvis died of heart disease and drug abuse in 1977.

But the leaders get a perk most don't. Squired around the manse's gaudy interiors by Presley's only child and heir, Lisa Marie, and her mother, Priscilla, they have tour guides almost as interesting as the tour.

The men will also be greeted at Graceland by Elvis impersonators hoping to press an anti-whaling message. The costumed environmentalists plan to sing "Don't Be Cruel" to protest Japan's opposition to a 1986 global ban on commercial whaling.

The visit -- and Koizumi's Elvis obsession -- was a top topic even during the leaders' otherwise-serious joint news conference Thursday at the White House.
"We've agreed to take two questions a side," Bush instructed reporters. "Walking in, I reminded the prime minister of one of Elvis's greatest songs, 'Don't Be Cruel,' so keep that in mind when you ask your question." Koizumi ended the session with his own Elvis song reference: "Thank you very much, American people, for 'Love Me Tender."'

Movie Review

2006-06-29T10:17:00.000-04:00

One of my roommates really wanted to see Superman Returns before going away for the weekend. So last night we had a roommate date at the movies. All in all I give it a thumbs up.

The guy who played Superman was very good as both Superman and mild mannered reporter Clark Kent. And surprisingly, Kath Bosworth wasn't too bad as Lois Lane. She was a little mousy and disheveled and I liked that. It's nice to see a leading lady that's not totally put together. I also liked Kevin Spacey as Lex Luther and Parker Posey was very funny as his side kick (I can't remember her name). The plot line was very simple and that I loved. I felt like it was true to the other Superman movies. Granted I haven't seen them in a long time but it felt like old school Superman, as opposed to the new Batman movie. Batman was good but it was kind of complicated and nothing like the other movies in the series. But I digress.

One of the best parts of the movie was the music. It was all John Williams and it was the Superman theme that everyone recognizes. There were several long scene where Superman flies around solving crime and they could have been a little tedious if not for the music.

The one complaint I did have was that it was very long. It was a little over two and 1/2 hours and there were several places where I thought it was going to end and then it didn't. It was also an issue because my roommate bought tickets to a 10:15 movie and I didn't get home until a little after 1. If I wasn't so tired right now I probably could have written a much better review.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

2006-06-28T11:32:00.000-04:00

I would like to announce the engagement of my friend Steph to her boyfriend Rocco. I've known Steph forever (Since sixth grade I think) and Rocco since they started going out a few years ago. I am very happy for them and wish them the best of luck.

I wish I had some nice pictures of them to post but since I'm at work I don't. However, looking back in my blog archive I found this one of them playing beer pong in my basement.

HOOLLLAAA!!!

KICKBALL ALLSTAR

2006-06-27T14:20:00.000-04:00

Slow Day

2006-06-27T13:40:00.000-04:00

Today has been slow. And the weather is sucky. And I didn't get much sleep because the air conditioning in our building went out last night. The only thing work related I have done today was make some copies and e-mail the HR lady so I can meet with her. I'm pretty tired right now.

I don't really have much to say. It's funny, I thought I would have more to blog about once I got a job but so far these first five days at work not much has gone on.

I am going to build an ark

2006-06-26T16:13:00.000-04:00

Due to the heavy rains and flooding these past few days several buildings in dowtown DC were closed. CNN.com ran the story saying that "Justice was closed today."

Apparently the METRO is also experiencing weather related delays. In a quote given to reporters METRO spokeswoman Lisa Farbstein said, "Bring an umbrella and a bucket full of patience."

I love quotes like that.

I Love Technology

2006-06-23T14:12:00.000-04:00

This is a good day. So I'm into day three of my job. I am not going to talk about it in specifics but so far everyone has been so nice and I like it here. Today I finally got a computer in my office and I am so happy. Going from 9 to 5 without checking my e-mail once was like not having crack after being on it for several years. I started to sweat, vomited everywhere, and had a few seizures. Glad that is all over now.

So right now it is 2:11 and no one else is here. My boss and his wife (who I guess is also my boss) both had to leave due to an illness in their family. And no one else is here because I work in an educational institution and it's Friday during the summer. My boss just wants me here to cover the phones but he said I could leave a four.

I am so grateful I have a computer now. If not I would have to just sit and wait for four o'clock to come around. That would have been the worst thing ever.

Here's what happened

2006-06-21T21:24:00.000-04:00

I loved all your guesses but none of them were right. The real story is that John cooked an awesome breakfast for us earlier that day. It was eggs and bacon and sausage and biscuits. Well, that night he was cooking potatoes that had been all buttered up and wrapped in tin foil. He left with everyone else to go get more firewood and told Angel to check the potatoes in about ten minutes. Soon after he left I stood up to get a drink and noticed that the potatoes seemed to be on fire. The grill was closed and the flames were shooting out from under the lid. The picture shows Angel right after the moment she realized that the bacon grease from breakfast was on fire and just burning up the propane and our potatoes.

We managed to save the potatoes (which were delicious), turn off the propane to avoid a complete explosion, and get the fire out. Everything was fine and we even cooked the rest of the meal on the grill. However, the grease fire did burn the top of the grill a little.

Who knew that potatoes cooked in butter over a flaming bacon grease could be so delicious?

Who can guess what's happening here?

2006-06-19T21:57:00.000-04:00

please be specific.

Finally

2006-06-16T14:42:00.000-04:00

I've been unemployed for six and 1/2 months.

In that six months I got a job offer, moved out of my parents house to another state for said job, arrived on day one and was told job wasn't anything I had thought, quit, sent out at least a hundred more resumes, went on about 12 more interviews, got three job offers in two days, and have finally accepted a position that I think will be great.

I start Wednesday. I am so happy it's all over.

Those Guys

2006-06-14T12:27:00.000-04:00

Every Tuesday night I play on this kickball team. Right now we are 3-1 but one of those wins was a forfeit. The league is sponsored by the bar I go to for my Monday happy hour so all the teams have the same shirt but in different colors. I play on the orange team that is Wonderland staff and regulars. That is the name of our team on the website but I think our name is actually Those Guys.

Anyway, yesterday we played the pink team. We had seen the pink team on the field before and have been wanting to play them. From what I could tell they are all gay and the name of their team is The Flaming Furbies. Since the teams are all co-ed their sexuality didn't really playa a role in how good they were because for every feminine gay guy they had, there was one macho lesbian. The game was alright, we won 7-3. However, every time they did something good on the field they referred to it as flaming. If they made a good defensive play they called it a flaming out. If they were safe on base they got a flaming hit.

So when The BMcC got caught in a double play I said to him, "Brian, the flamers just doubled you up."

First it Rained and then This Appeared

2006-06-10T13:45:00.000-04:00

2006-06-07T09:11:00.000-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUSSELL!!

ABCD...

2006-06-02T00:04:00.000-04:00

Today I had an interview that, for the most part, went pretty well. I had to take some tests when I got there. I was thinking tests in Microsoft programs so I did a little brushing up before I went to the interview. However when I got there I found out it was a proofreading test (no prob) a typing test (not an issue) and a spelling test (crap).

For those of you who don't know spelling is not exactly my forte. In fact, if blogger didn't have spell check I would probably be screwed. Anyway, I was handed a sheet of paper with 50 words on it. If they were misspelled I was to cross them out and write them correctly. If they were right I would leave them alone. Well, fuck. I had no idea. They were tricky words too.

I told the HR lady who was giving me the teats that I can't spell. Might as well be up front about it. That's what spell check is for.

What the hell?

2006-05-30T22:09:00.000-04:00

This blog goes out to the good people who have weird things happen to them. I know several of you and it's all about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Today I was going to play kickball with this team I am sort of on. It was really fun but that's besides the point. I decided to walk over to the mall before leaving and get dinner in the food court. This way, I would be one metro stop closer to where I needed to go and get out of the apartment for a little while.

So I am sitting there eating my Subway sandwich when this old, old man walks up to me. I mean, he had to be about 80 and he was having trouble walking. He asked if he could ask me a question and thinking he was a tourist I said yes. (On a side note, the tourists in DC are always asking me for directions. I don't know why but that has always been the case even when I was in school.) So he pulled out the chair across from me and joined me at my table.

He then launched into a whole long story about his son who is recently divorced and looking to get back out in the game but is having a little trouble doing it. The old man was just trying to help his son by asking me if I knew anyone who would take him around to parties so he could meet new people. Needless to say I was a little taken aback by the question. In situations like this I usually become a fake tourist so I just told him I wasn't from around here. So he says he's not from around here either. And I said, no really, I'm from out of state. But so was he. Turns out he lives in a town in northern NJ pretty close to where I am from originally.

I told him the only people I know in the area are family members and that they're all older and married and probably couldn't help. Then he says that his son has an artificial leg which is making things difficult but never stopped him before but that he's also a very successful lawyer. I apologized again and told him I couldn't help. He thanked me and said he knew I would if I could. Normally that might have made me feel a little guilty about lying out my ass but then I watched him wander around the food court looking for other people to ask. What a weird little man he was. I hope his son appreciates the trouble he is going through to try and help him out.

But really, who does that happen to?

Really bad party pictures

2006-05-29T13:33:00.000-04:00

What is Russell doing here?

The roommate in super close up.

The B McC sporting the faux-hawk

Elizabeth and Lee. They do not normally look like this

Angel is always a big supporter of the confederacy.

Ah, the boot mug.

Someone drank this whole bottle of wine. 50 points if you guess who it was.

Is that a small man or an enormous beer?

Dooce

2006-05-24T22:31:00.000-04:00

There is this blog that was introduced to me by my friend Kendra. It's possibly the funniest thing I have ever read.

Please, please follow this link and read her post.

An Ode to Christine Lee

2006-05-23T23:21:00.000-04:00

"It's the kind of boredom that makes you want to get involved at church."

"I didn't do anything. I didn't even touch your crotch. I couldn't bring myself to."

"I just didn't want to work. I haven't wanted to work since I got here freshman year."

"It's a very strange looking ball and I want nothing to do with it."

"I never played with the condoms, ok?"

"I feel sorry for the Pope. I hope someone buys him a new hat. When's the last time you saw him wearing a really nice hat?"

"Are we the biggest country in the world? No. If we took over Canada, maybe."

"I just want you to know that your brother tried to shave me."

"If you don't embrace crazy, crazy takes you to insane and then no one embraces you."

"I'm sitting here with Chubaca and I know it's a conspiracy."

Christine - "Steph, hold on, I have to kill a beer. It's some sort of rule."
Me - "Did you say kill a beer?"
Christine - "Yeah. Apparently in Conn. it's a law that you can't drink after one. Whatever. I have beer in my room."

Monday Night Wonderland

2006-05-22T22:20:00.000-04:00

Tonight I was at my regular Monday night Happy Hour at the Wonderland Ballroom. I had my drinks and $1 foot long hot dog and even got a ride home from The B McC. I was pretty excited when I got home because the Yankee Game was on ESPN so I could watch it. However, they were sucking it up big time and I was getting angry. It's not every day I get to watch a game so I would rather not watch them loose to the Red Sox.

Anyway, around nine I was hungry and I really wanted some pizza. However, of all the millions of places near me to eat there is not one pizza place. So off to McDonalds I went to get food for me and my roommate.

On the way back up to my apartment the guy riding the elevator with me asked if the McDolanlds bag was dinner. I said,
"There is nothing that tastes better after a few drinks than McDonalds."

and he said, "Either that or pizza."And with that he got off the elevator and dissappeared from my life.

How often is it that you meet a total stranger who can read your mind?

National Lampoons DC Vacation

2006-05-20T15:18:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Angel and I decided to have a tourism day in DC. We were planning on going to The American Arts Museum and National Portrait Gallery and then over to the American History Museum to see the new Exhibit on Jim Henson and the Muppets. First, I should fill you in on the history. In 2000 Angel and I attempted to go to the American Art Museum and when we got there it was closed for renovation and wouldn't re-open until 2002. So, shortly before graduation (in 02) we tried to go back but it was still closed. So we were pretty excited to finally get the chance to go.

Anyway, when I got to Angel's yesterday morning at 11am she informed me that they had closed Independence Ave. due to a suspicious vehicle so we should go to Gordon Biersch (our favorite brewery) for lunch, then to the art museum, then to the history museum. It was funny because before I even got to her apartment I was thinking we should go to Gordon Biersch.

So we get to the brewery and order pizza and beer. Delicious. Nothing better than starting the afternoon with a nice tall Golden Export. After eating and getting a little tipsy we set out for the art museum which is conveniently located across the street from Gordon Biersch.

However when we get there we see this...

It's still closed. Six years later it's still closed. We were so mad. Thankfully we had the drinks before we got there or I might have gotten violent.

So, then we headed over to the American History Museum. I was pretty excited about the Muppet exhibit and this museum is also closing for a "two year" renovation in September so it's good to get my time in there now. I might never be able to go again. Unfortunately, when we got there we discovered that the cute little ice cream parlor on the first floor of the museum that we used to frequent was turned into a Subway. Oh, the horror.

The Muppet stuff was pretty cool but there really wasn't much there. It was only about five cases full of puppets. I was hoping for Snuffalufagus or Big Bird or something very grand. Nope. They did have the sweetish Chef though. In the midst of the disappointment of the exhibit we were over run by thousands of 12 year old tourists and very quickly exited the museum.

So, our tourist plans pretty much completed in an hour, the only option we had was to return to Gordon Biersch for more beer and Dessert.

Once we finished our cake we headed back to Angel's place and had every intention of watching a movie. But we both fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up the credits were rolling and my head was killing me. It was kind of the perfect end to our crazy day.

Shout Out to Cuz

2006-05-19T09:15:00.000-04:00

I would like to dedicate this post to my cousin. Not only did she give me her old digital camera, (so now I can post pictures on this blog with ease) but she also helped me out with my computer and got things back up and running.

So I thank her by putting up this really old picture of her and her fam that I found on the internet.

Thanks again Tammy.

Big Shout Out to Dick Wolf

2006-05-17T09:29:00.000-04:00

Last night I sat down to watch the season finale of Law and Order:SVU. For those who can't tell all the L&O's apart, it's the one about the sex crimes unit starring Mariska Hargitay and Ice-T. The plot line was about a bi-polar teenaged girl who reports a false rape then drives her car into her school building in a failed attempt to kill herself killing another girl in the process. Turns out she went off her medication because a famous rock star said that psychiatric medicines were poison.

For those who have followed my blog I have commented on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes a few times but never touched on his tirade against psychiatric meds. I think he's crazy and should be locked in a small room with a bunch of schizophrenic men who have not been taking their pills. But, my opinion aside, I loved what L&O creator Dick Wolf did with this story...

Law and Order has a reputation for plot lines that have been "ripped from the headlines." For instance, they did one on the original L&O about the Staten Island Ferry crash. It always starts out mirroring the true story and then there is some twist to make it at least a little fictional. In this episode, the rock star against psychiatry was not a scientologist, but had been put in a mental institution by his parents when he was young and received electric shock treatment. Therefore, his traumatic childhood led him to his hatred of medications. In the end psychiatry won and the girl was held accountable for the murder.

I'm not sure what Dick Wolf wanted to say with this episode. But I would like to think that he suggests Tom Cruise be put on a table and shocked to the point of realizing he cannot cure drug addiction or learning disabilities with his scientological beliefs. And that brainwashing a 20-something year old girl into changing her religion and having a baby with him is not really fair to the kid or mother.

Stupid Computer

2006-05-15T10:17:00.000-04:00

I am seriously disgusted with my blog negligence. However, I am having internet problems that have yet to be fixed. Hopefully I will get everything worked out soon and can return to my normal blogging schedule.

Thanks for your patience.

Mr. Lee

2006-05-11T13:45:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posting. I have been out of town since Friday as I had to travel to Massachussets for a funeral. It was probably the most heart breaking experience of my life. What do you say to your best friend who just lost her dad?

It's crazy to think that God could be so cruel to just reach down and take someone with no warning or consideration for the people he left behind. It's really not fair and I felt awful getting in the car and leaving her in MA.

Blah.

I got a dwe (driving while eating)

2006-05-06T19:02:00.000-04:00

What did I learn on the most recent drive from DC to NY?

Don't eat chocolate muffins while driving. They are delicious but they are messy and will get crumbs all over the place and those crumbs will get on and possibly stain your drivers seat.

For My Sister

2006-05-03T10:36:00.000-04:00

Clair, I understand you boredom problem. When I was at my previous job I came close to death many, many times due to a lack of things to do. What follows is a list of things I used to do to keep myself busy.

Visit www.dooce.com It's really funny. The blog belong to this girl who actually got fired for her blog (several years ago) and now both her and her husband blog professionally.

Colbert Nation is a good website. It is linked from my blog. I worship all things Stephen Colbert and you should too.

Crossword puzzles. I'm sure you can print them off the internet.

www.m-w.com It's the dictionary web page but sometimes they have fun word games.

Write letters. It's always nice to catch up on your correspondence.

Peruse the internet and look for a job. Or a couch. I need a couch.

Snacks.

When checking your daily blogs just click on the "next blog" button in the upper right hand corner of the screen. You can find random blogs that way. Good luck finding them in English.

That's all I have right now. And remember, half the fun of all this is to not get caught. It adds a bit of excitement to the day and it makes you think of ways to cleverly look busy without actually being busy.

The first AWESOME thing about leaving one of the most expensive cities in the country

2006-04-29T10:19:00.000-04:00

My car insurance is going to be about $200 less for every six month renewal.

People here complain about the cost of living. Take my word for it, it's not as bad as NY.

Me and The BMcC

2006-04-26T10:53:00.000-04:00

Brian McCarthy (The BMcC) and I have been friends since my sophomore year of college. In the seven days since I moved back to the DC area I have spent four evenings with him which included several rounds of beer, two foot long hot dogs, mini cheeseburgers, and a free lunch on the Marriott Internet 2 Conference. Plus he set up my wireless internet for me. It's a good thing too otherwise my blogging would never have happened. So what follows is my tribute to The BMcC...

"I've been drunk since 4:30 so I figured I go see my peeps in Millennium South."

"Maybe this is the booze talking, but I'm in love with you."

"I'm just making promises I can't keep. That's what love is."

"Way to go on your counting degree. Why don't you go count something bitch."

"Don't toy with me. I'm drunk enough to get on a plane and fly to Vegas right now and marry you. And by that I mean I've had one beer."

"I'd drive Dan's Ford Escort into the reflection pool and say, 'I've got a bomb. No I'm just kidding. I'm in love with Angel and she's marrying Greg Nicorette and I want to make out with Crawford so I can tell my friends and Steph and I are dating.'"

For more go here.

A Quick Note

2006-04-24T22:59:00.000-04:00

So sorry for my lack of posting lately. A lot of changes have occurred in my life recently and I haven't been able to balance my blogging with everything else. In the past week I have had more of a social life than I have had in the past year. I still don't have a job, though I am feeling more positive about that than I have in many moons, but my new place is pretty bitchin.

Anyway, I am completely exhausted right now but I just wanted to drop a line to my faithful readers. I'm pretty sure there are only four of your right now because Stephanie is on vacation.

Just for the record, Monday night happy hour is the best thing ever. Oh, and if the next time you see me I have put on a significant amount of weight, The B McC is totally to blame.

It's A Girl

2006-04-19T23:34:00.000-04:00

As the comments on my previous post pointed out, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes welcomed their first child together yesterday. They named her Suri. It means something like princess or something stupid in another language. I won't even go into that because I think naming your kid something that will get them beat up or be put into cruel childhood rhymes should be cause enough for jail time. Or maybe even a good whipping.

I really can't wait to see what happens next. I don't know if you have been following all the news surrounding this couple but it's pretty intense. In my opinion Mr. Cruise has brainwashed the young Katie Holmes and is using her strictly as a vehicle to produce spawn. He is evil and she is stupid to fall for it. I think it makes an awesome story and I wish it were completely fiction. I mean, I really think the relationship is non-existent. It's just a shame little Suri is being dragged into it and forced into being a Scientologist.

I usually do not enjoy or promote celebrity gossip. Actually, I get really angry at the celebrity worship that exists in our country when much more important things are going on in the world. However, this one is just too good to ignore. Please share your thoughts.

Still so tired

2006-04-17T23:49:00.000-04:00

So the move went really well. Suprisingly well. All my furniture was assembled, none of my stuff broke, and there was no blood shed. My apartment kicks ass. My roommates are awesome. Sorry for the delay in posts but it took a little while to set up my internet. Shout out to The BmC for all his help.

The job on the other hand was a disaster. Please take notice of my use of the past tense in the previous sentence. I went in today but I will not be going back tomorrow. It was my choice and I will write about it at a later date. I have been dealing with it all day and don't feel like telling the story anymore. On the brightside, both my roomates took my resume (Justin even said something about having money to help me out and I almost started crying) and I already sent out more resumes.

Steph, if you're reading, thanks for the e-mail and give me a call when you have a chance to talk.

Oh, and to all my readers, don't get laser hair removal. You never know who is performing the procedure.

Something to Ponder While Moving

2006-04-14T08:27:00.000-04:00

This morning I read this on the internet...

"Tom Cruise enjoys a "spectacular" sex life with his pregnant fiancee Katie Holmes, because they have such good communications skills. The Hollywood actor reveals his sex secrets in the May issue of GQ magazine, declaring the physical act is a "by-product" of a successful pairing. Cruise enthuses, "Sex is about the connection. Great sex is a by-product, for me, of a great relationship, where you have communication and it's an extension of that. Where it's just free. And that's how it should be. It's spectacular. If you're not in good communication with your partner, it sucks. (Meaningless sex outside of a relationship) is really horrible and pathetic and lonely"

I don't understand why he feels the need to discuss this. Perhaps to show the world that he and Katie are actually a couple and he has not used her to further his agenda and create other perfect, scientilogical humans, or to show the world that he is a superior human being who has never had a bad hook up because he can foresee the pain and embarrassment it will cause, or to prove he's not gay.

I go with option one or three. Or both.

A break from packing to discuss something important

2006-04-10T23:20:00.000-04:00

Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow just had a son. He is there second child. They named him Moses. What the hell is wrong with them?? As if naming their daughter after a piece of fruit wasn't bad enough.

Moving

2006-04-05T12:35:00.000-04:00

It's been way too long since my last post. I've been very busy lately as my job search finally ended with a job in McLean,VA. After four months of unemployment and nine months of looking for a job in the DC area, I got one. Whoo-hoo!!

So I spent last weekend in Northern Virginia trying to find a place to live. The one thing I learned, people are weird as hell. In an attempt to save money and meet some new people I will be moving into an apartment with two other people. The apartment is kick-ass and the one roommate I met is pretty cool. And by the grace of God I will be living there. But my search was very difficult and laced with ugly houses and strange people. Maybe someday I will sit down and write all about it but I have a lot of other stuff to do right now.

Needless to say I probably won't be posting much until I'm settled in VA. I hope all five of my readers will be able to make it through the days without me.

PSA

2006-03-30T23:51:00.000-05:00

Please go the this page and watch the public service announcements that the cast of "The Office" did. They are amazing and you will be a better person for watching them.

Truthiness

2006-03-30T23:27:00.000-05:00

The wisdom of Stephen Colbert

On marriage: "It is an accepted fact that if you're a single woman over 35, you're less likely to find a husband than you are to be devoured by a circus lion in a convenience store."

On treasured Easter symbols that are under attack: "Easter is the holiest of Christian holidays, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus after his crucifixion at the hands of you-know-who. Doesn't take a biblical scholar to see how Jesus is related to things like colored eggs."

On bears: "For years, these ravenous brutes have had free reign to use our woods as their personal latrine, protected by their 'endangered' status. Now the government is wisely considering ending grizzlies' special treatment to protect our honey jars and Paddington Station."

On raising a hero: "Stay home and raise the kids. Hey, by definition, someone has got to be home to home-school them. And while motherhood can be very demanding, the easiest way to make time to pursue your own interests is to not have them."

On a recent experience: "I was at the salon the other day, getting a full-body honey/sea-salt exfoliant rub. I looked like a big piece of Fiddle-Faddle. Anyway, while I was waiting for this very strong Korean woman to hose me off, I was flipping through a Cosmo, and I took a love test: am I a sexy lover? Well, I was very suspicious to find that I scored 'limp noodle,' when everyone knows I am a 'stuffed manicotti.'"

Thank You For Smoking

2006-03-30T10:58:00.000-05:00

"The Great State of Vermont will not apologize for it's cheese."

Who Knew?

2006-03-27T23:52:00.000-05:00

A few nights ago I was watching the Donnie Deutsch show on MSNBC (or whatever he's on) and I saw an interview with Jodie Sweetin, aka Stephanie Tanner of Full House. Did you know she's a recovering meth addict? I certainly didn't.

This girl is 24. She spent eight seasons on a very successful TV show that will forever run in syndication, went through high school and college, got married (to a cop), was addicted to meth for two years, got sober, is now getting a divorce, and is appearing on all sorts of shows to discuss her meth addiction (which, according to her was not a result of her child stardom but was born out of boredom and lack of direction in her life).

That kind of makes me feel under-accomplished.

From CNN.com

2006-03-24T22:00:00.000-05:00

Elvis' home to be designated national landmark

Friday, March 24, 2006

MEMPHIS, Tennessee (AP) -- Elvis fans already consider Graceland a national treasure.
Interior Secretary Gale Norton will arrive in Memphis on Monday for ceremonies to make the designation official.

The home of Elvis Presley, which hosts more than 600,000 tourists a year, will join the Alamo, Pearl Harbor, the White House and Mt. Vernon as a National Historic Landmark.

Graceland, bought by Elvis in 1957 for $103,000 (euro86,055) with earnings from his first hit record, "Heartbreak Hotel," will be one of about 2,500 national landmarks.

The Interior Department calls these "exceptional" places on its Web page. "They form a common bond between all Americans. While there are many historic places across the nation, only a small number have meaning to all Americans -- these we call our National Historic Landmarks."

"Graceland is so famous it is arguable that on a worldwide basis it is the second most famous home in America," said Elvis Presley Enterprises chief executive officer Jack Soden.
"You go to the far corners of the Earth, and they don't really know what Mt. Vernon or Monticello or Hearst Castle are, but they know what Graceland is. It is kind of in a class of its own."

Graceland has been on the National Register of Historic Places since 1991

I say it's about damn time

2 sets of 10

2006-03-23T19:06:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was lounging around the house in sweat pants and my favorite Old Navy tank tops, as one does when one is still unemployed, and I saw something that made me gasp in horror. I reached out my right arm to grab my pudding cup that I had placed on the table beside me and caught sight of the area between my elbow and shoulder. It was the saggiest, droopiest, upper arm I had ever seen.

Normally at this time of year I am into my second week of softball practice with my high school team. And once my coaching season starts it goes until August and this, coupled with a slow pitch team I play on during the summer, usually provides me with the opportunity to tone up my arms. However, due to some much needed (but much doubted) life changes I am trying so desperately to make, I am not coaching and the state of my arms is not good.

So, yesterday I decided it was time to start lifting weights. After eating my pudding cup. This morning I got out my exer-ball (which I use all the time for crunches), put on my John Basedow video (despite the wierd commercials, it's a really good video) and worked my chest, back, arms, and stomach. It was pretty awesome. I've been working on my stomach for a few weeks now so that feels good. However, I fear for my upper body come tomorrow. I am pretty sure the soreness will prevent me from lifting my arms high enough to place my hands on the keyboard. I might not post for a while.

I figure since I'm already working on my upper body and abdomen, I might as well add my legs to the list. So tomorrow it's lower body. Then I spend the weekend trying to get out of bed.

Did you know?

2006-03-22T11:27:00.000-05:00

It's been said that the three most recognizable words in the world are Jesus, Coca-Cola, and Elvis.

Sigh

2006-03-20T23:14:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't posted in a while but really, I have nothing worth saying.

The job search is slow at best.

My dating, or attempt at dating, is one big joke.

And despite it being the first day of spring, the weather is cold and bumming me out.

I try not to post when feeling blue but after not blogging for a long time it's hard to get back into the swing. So really this is just an exercise to keep my blogging muscles strong.

I learned my lesson when I stopped doing crunches and my stomach turned to mush. I recently started all over again and my abdomen is sore all the time. I would hate for all the parts I use to write these posts to turn to mush too.

Court TV Special

2006-03-17T13:03:00.000-05:00

Today I woke up in time to watch a portion of The Today Show. It was a very brief segment (because I hate that show) about Al Roker's new piece he is working on. It's called Al Roker Investigates: Meth, Murder, and Madness. It's about methanfedimene use in the US.

What the hell?? Al Roker is a freaking weather man.

Adams Street

2006-03-16T18:10:00.000-05:00

Since my recent job search requires me to travel to DC every few weeks I have been spending a lot of time at Angel's. So now, I list my top five reasons why I like staying with Angel and John.

First there is Norm. Things have been a little strained between us lately. It is hard because we haven't lived together since college. And he is really bad at keeping in touch. Probably because he's drunk all the time.

Second is their impeccable taste in art. This is a new piece they now own and it is fabulous. How can you beat Jesus and Elvis?

Third, she shares my new found love and obsession for James Blunt.

Fourth, three words : X-Files drinking game.

And finally fifth is this guy, Russell. He thinks he's pretty funny. He's Angel's boyfriend and if I'm lucky, he'll be wearing his Jams when I arrive.

9:30 Club

2006-03-14T00:54:00.000-05:00

Did you ever buy a CD of a band or a performer and kind of like them but not really and then see that band or performer live in concert and realize that you are desperatly in love with them?

If James Blunt ever comes to your city GO SEE HIM. I cannot stress this enough. It was the most inspired, passionate, live performance I have ever seen.

Coming to America

2006-03-10T15:11:00.000-05:00

Clair and I discussing an article in the New York times about the exploitation of Elvis Presley.

Me: "It says that of the 600,000 visitors to Graceland every year, about 30 percent of them are foreigners."

Clair: "Oh God. That means all those people are coming here and Graceland is the only thing they see in the United States."

Me: "Probably."

Probably the only time I have ever cheered for Jason Varitek

2006-03-08T19:51:00.000-05:00

The major League Baseball season is almost upon us and I could not be more excited. I've watched a few spring training games but they are kind of boring. I would much rather watch a game that actually counts. So the past few days I have been watching the World Baseball Classic.
In theory I think the WBC is a good idea. It gives the major league players a chance to play for their country, which they normally do not have the opportunity to do. The Summer Olympics always falls in the middle of the regular season so they can't play. Not like that matters because as of 2008 baseball and softball will no longer be played at the Olympics. But I digress. Perhaps holding the WBC during spring training is not the best idea. November would be best. This way players wouldn't have to miss spring training, or be worried about getting hurt.

Today I watched Team USA play Canada. Team USA has a roster composed of the stars of the major league. It's kind of ridiculous actually and they were expected to do very well. Some sports casters have picked Cuba or Japan to win over USA, but they should still make it to the championship round. Well, today they lost to Canada. I don't think it would be as embarrassing if they lost to Mexico or Japan, but Canada? Not only did they lose, but at one point they were losing 8 to nothing. In the sixth inning team USA managed to get two runs across and then Jason Varitek hit a grand slam. This made the game 8-6 and that was the final score.

USA played crappy defense and really couldn't hit when it counted, except for Mr. Varitek of the Boston Red Sox. With a team of all stars you would think they could at least beat Canada, a country not really known for it's baseball players. If the US comes out of this tournament a loser it would be pretty embarrassing. I mean, baseball is our national pastime. If we send our best players to represent us in the national game and we lose, I don't think I could stand it.

House Party

2006-03-05T17:19:00.000-05:00

My parents took a Vegas vacation. Bill and I decided that since they are gambling the time away in a fun city with warm weather that it was only fair we throw a little party.

BEER PONG!! My favorite party drinking game. Really, it's one of the few I actually enjoy playing. And what better place to play than my basement.

Steph and Rocco getting serious.

There's Gloria lining up her shot while Jason cheers her on. Actually, she was probably talking about how she doesn't like wet balls. I'm assuming that was a referene to the ping pong ball.

Red cups. Red cups. Red cups. Red Cups.

So blue

2006-03-03T23:45:00.000-05:00

Oh the sadness I feel right now. My jeans ripped today. My favorite, worn in, 3-year-old jeans that I wear all the time, ripped in the knee. It's the second pair to go in the past two months. That's the worst.

I have been on a quest for new jeans for quiet a long time but I really can't find any. It's hard to find nice jeans that actually fit well and accent all the right parts. It is so hard to find a good pair. And I feel that I shouldn't have to break my bank to buy a new pair. Since when are jeans so expensive?

I guess this weekend I'll have to break down and get a new pair. Well, once the initial sadness goes away.